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Don’t Focus on Fear

No doubt these are uncertain times. Most of us have never witnessed anything like what we’re experiencing. Sure, we’ve read books about wartime rationing or heard stories from grandparents, but it was always something that happened in another time.

Now, we’re faced with bare supermarket shelves, limited store hours, availability based on your last name, without gyms, restaurants, and other social events to fill our days. I’ve seen countless posts about being locked in our houses, afraid to be in contact with other people, and fear of contracting a potentially deadly virus.

While all of that is the reality in which we live, focusing solely on that is robbing us of something else we all have: time and opportunity.

You’ll never get back the hours you have today. Don’t live in fear. Instead, look for joy. Learn how to live without your face buried in technology and with access to everyone’s thoughts. For my Gen X peers – we grew up in the 70s and 80s. We’ve done this before.

We spent our time largely disconnected. Our families and neighborhood friends were how social networks happened. Evenings were spent playing cards, reading, watching television together. We didn’t run to the supermarket every day. We went for a weekly shop. We bought what we needed, never less, never more.

We learned to cook, sew, change the car oil, skateboard and other things. We rode bikes together and dispersed to our own homes after a few laps around the block. We sat in the backyard with lemonade and cookies.

It was simple times. It was the best of times.

While it’s hard not to focus on the changing world around us, try disconnecting a bit. Put your phone down. Turn on music or a podcast. Open a book. Clean a closet. Do a home repair. Pick up cross-stitch, crochet or knitting. Call a friend and take a walk in the neighborhood. Take a nap.

It’ll be OK.

If you’re still worried, concerned and scared by what you’re experiencing, you’re not alone. Reach out if you need some support.

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Ten pieces of advice for the graduating class of 2019

My high school graduation was more than 30 years ago, but I’ve learned a thing or two since then. Here’s some advice good for people of all ages.

Celebrate all the accomplishments. High school graduation is a big deal but there are few “big” moments as you journey through life. Take time to celebrate the smallest of things – they’re important too.

Seize opportunities to reinvent yourself. New school, new job…think about who you want to be and put the best version of yourself out in the world.

Not everyone will like you. That’s ok. They don’t have to. Surround yourself with people who recognize your best qualities.

Don’t be afraid to fail! If you don’t take risks you don’t grow. Not everything works out.

Find a mentor. Everyone needs support. Tap into the experience of someone you trust.

Put your phone down. Talk to people. Smile. Look them in the eye. Good communication is multidimensional.

Ask for what you want. The answer to the unasked question is always no.

Develop a reading habit. Keep learning, reinforce concepts you already know or positively get lost in your own mind.

Take a mint if someone offers one to you. You may not need it, or might not know that you do.

Do the right thing even when no one is looking. People come and go in your life but the one person who is constant is you. Make sure you like yourself!

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Transformation Tuesday

In November 2017 I won a 10-week challenge from The Max Challenge of Manalapan. I went to the center two times before I signed up, asking questions about the nutrition, exercise, and resources available. I decided to have an open mind and go all-in. Here’s what I learned over the last eight months:

Max Challenge of Manalapan Before and AfterThe scale doesn’t matter.  I didn’t want to see the number on the scale when it was going up, and I didn’t want to see it when it was going down. Other programs focus on pounds lost as the measure of success. I looked at following the nutrition plan, participating in daily exercise, getting enough sleep  and acknowledging the work. I know I was doing the best I could, so that meant being at peace with the results, however slow or fast they occurred.

It pays to be kind to yourself. You’re not going to wake up a size 4 with perky breasts, a round ass, and flat abs. You’re the best version of yourself today. Smile in the mirror and focus on the positive. No one else sees you as flawed as you do. Let it go. We are all a work in progress.

You can do it. Don’t have time in your schedule? Can’t do a push up? Hate eating vegetables? You can find a way to do anything if you really want to. Be clear on your priorities and focus on progress, not perfection. Some goals take longer to achieve and some behaviors harder to make habit. Take your time and keep trying. You’ll be stronger, more disciplined, and proficient with each passing day.

Food should taste good. It also should be food. Saying goodbye to all processed food, dairy, wheat, and sugar has been amazing. It’s also easy to see how quickly you can slip back into old habits because those things taste good, but they’re not good for you. Finding things to enjoy within the constraints of the nutrition plan and experimenting with spices and new foods has made it easy to create a lifestyle, not a diet.

Time moves fast. It seems like yesterday I was scarfing down bags of Doritos and searching for stretch pants. The first few weeks felt like work and required intense focus. But then a month passed. And another. Knowing someone would take my photo every ten weeks meant I could free myself from other markers – I just had to get through the day. And in a blink of an eye, eight months have passed.

The before picture, taken in Amelia Island 2017, was shortly after I walked through the Jacksonville Airport and passed a sign that read “a year from now you’ll wish you started today.” I’d seen that saying before and thought it often when I had to go up a size, was disappointed in a picture or just generally felt low. But when I think of how close that year anniversary is in grasp, I’m glad to have started when I did.

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Of liquid lunches, big spending and boondoggles (and other reasons I miss the 80’s)

Even though I’m not an actress, I posted a photo for #oldheadshot day on Facebook. I selected a photo from a summer day in 1986, heading north on the parkway, home from the Jersey Shore (Belmar, to be specific). #oldheadshotday

I’d started college the year before and was still in my Reeboks and E.G. Smith slouchy socks, having not yet entered the business world. It was a good time for fashion, and possibly the start of the athleisure trend with everyone in leggings and sweatshirts. But it was a better time for business.80's footwear

By the time I entered the workforce, it wasn’t the era of martinis in the morning, but no one was batting an eye if you had a few margaritas at lunch or kept a small, stocked fridge in your office. And if it wasn’t a liquid lunch, there were plenty of end-the-day-early happy hours and such.

Without technology oversight, there was lots of unaccounted for spending and that meant boondoggles – trips to beautiful locations without a real work purpose. Sure, we got things done or attended a few conference sessions, but I can recall laying poolside at Miami’s Fountain Bleau, eating bellinis while drinking champagne midday at New York’s Petrossian  restaurant (with Princess Diana’s former hairdresser, natch) and being chauffeured around LA see Rodeo Dr. and dine at Spago.

It was a time of excess and extravagance in the beauty industry, and no one was looking. Or perhaps, it was a tiny unscrupulous corner of my 80’s workplace.

It was a time of excitement, at least as a twenty-year-old with access to celebrities and people who knew where to spend the money. Technology was new – the company also purchased the first cell phone I used.

I loved that time period of big hair, big glasses and bright colors. Recently, our community hosted 80’s night and our friends agreed to dress decade appropriately. As I prepared for the evening listening to Madonna’s Like a Virgin, I realized the only thing I needed were a few O-rings.

My hair’s still large, I love neon pink, listen to Prince, and long for the days when life was carefree. The 80’s may be decades old, and I might have passed on a lunchtime margarita while sharing a meal at Jose Tejas with co-workers this week, but it’ll always be a part of who I am.

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Arrestingly cute!

Not my greatest handiwork, but lots of fun creating this adorable diaper cover and police hat. I get a lot of requests for baby photo props and am sure this one will be popular.

crochet policy baby set

Thank you @bustingstitches for the awesome pattern.

It can be found here.

 

 

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Hello spring!

Spring hit the east coast with a Nor’easter, and that’s just fine with me. Plenty of time to work on my latest baby blanket. It’s a simple double crochet repeater pattern, but great for binge watching (just finished The Imposters!)

Yarn: Yarn Bee Baby Bulky

Weight: 5

Hook: 6.00 mm

Pattern:

Chain 61.
Row 1: Double crochet in 2nd chain from hook and each chain across – 60 double crochet.
Row 2: Chain 2 (counts as double crochet), turn, working in front loops only, double crochet in each double crochet across.
Repeat Row two 42 times.
Fasten off.

What’s on your hook?